VIOLENCE IN MARRIAGE prt 1

"So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse. “I hate divorce,” says the God of Israel. God-of-the-Angel-Armies says, “I hate the violent dismembering of the ‘one flesh’ of marriage.” So watch yourselves. Don’t let your guard down. Don’t cheat" (Malachi 2:15-16, The Message).

The use of the word 'violent' in the above Scriptures introduces us to the issue of violence in marriage. Violence in any form, whether physical or by speech, grossly violates "the spirit of marriage". For you to have a happy home, all parties in the home must abhor violence. Violence destroys the honour and dignity that God has designed to envelope marriage.

Although there are cases of women who beat up their husbands, men have been a lot more guilty in this matter than the women. In the name of the Lord Jesus, I beseech our menfolk to please stop this barbaric behaviour. No one gets an award or any form of commendation for beating his wife. It is sheer madness for a husband to beat his wife, just as it is the beginning of insanity for a man to pick up a cane and start spanking himself.

In the few year  that my wife and I have been on this journey together, we have never had the misfortune of raising our fists against one another. Is it because she is an angel? No, far from it. Is it because I am a saint from out of this world? Not at all. It is just that I have made a covenant with my God that I will never raise my hand against my wife. That covenant shall remain in force till I exit this world.

Yes, I admit that it has been by His grace, and we are thankful to God that we have been able to allow that grace to work. Certainly, spouses will get on one another's nerves, but we must keep our resolve not to resort to physical violence. To combat the possible outbreak of violence, we must operate by the principle or law of kindness (Proverbs 31:26). Kindness is to be favourable, charitable, affectionate, mild, gentle and forgiving. The virtuous husband or wife must resolve to be kind at all times to his or her spouse. Your spouse is your 'better half', and the implication is that you are to treat him or her better than you would treat yourself.

Dear husband and wife, one memory your children should never be allowed to have is their father beating their mother, or their mother raining abuses on their father. If you allow them the misfortune of that experience, you have already laid the foundation for violence in the future marriages of your children. May you never be remembered for such in Jesus Christ's name.

May the Lord help us all.