HOME THERAPY SERIES: LAW OF HONOUR

""Marriage is honourable in all..." (Hebrews 13:4). 

Marriage is a honourable institution, so says the Holy Book. The home is expected to be an environment where the component parts honour each other. We show honour by preferring one another, speaking well of (and to) each other and respecting each other (Romans 12:10). It is not just the husband that should honour the wife; the wife must also honour the husband if there will be peace, harmony and joy.  

The law of honour demands that spouses should never use foul language against each other. A man who constantly labels his wife as stupid gives us room to wonder who he really is, and what was going on in his mind when he consciously signed the dotted lines to marry a stupid woman. Similarly, if a woman keeps saying her husband is an idiot, we should wonder what type of a woman commits the rest of her life in marriage to an idiot. 

The law of honour also demands that you should never lift up your hand against your spouse. I remember my pastor saying that it is madness for a man to beat his wife or for a woman to beat her husband. Indeed, if a man and his wife have become "one flesh" according to Ephesians 5:31, then beating your spouse equals beating yourself. I have never seen a normal man give himself a dirty slap, neither have I ever seen a normal woman stab herself with a broken bottle. But every human being nourishes and takes good care of his or her body. That is exactly what the Bible enjoins that we do to our spouses. 

One experience you should spare your children is a combat scene where father and mother are having a go at each other. Never let your children have the memory of any kind of assault on your spouse. Remember that your marriage is the template on which they are most likely to build theirs in the future. Why should your home become a wrestling or boxing ring, with your children and neighbours as spectators? I made a covenant with God never to lift up my hand to hit my wife and in twenty-two years of marriage, God has helped me by His grace to keep to that covenant. 

Friends, each of us should repent of whichever way we have dishonoured our spouses. Your home should be a place where husband and wife outdo one another in the bid to honour each other. We should also remember that honour begets honour, and if we would concentrate on bestowing honour upon our spouses we shall reap it aplenty.